Disciple Now 2007 was a mind blowing experience. I have never liked being in a small group of people UNTIL now. The speaker and band came on Wensday and were there until Sunday afternoon. Being new to Sunnyvale and being new to this wonderful ride of life, I was very hesitant to go. I have a tendancy to become more reclusive with things in my life. Things your suppose to tell brothers and sisters in Christ I hide deep down inside. I sometimes want to scream it at the top of my lungs of how I hurt. By hurting it's different than others. Sometimes, people question why I hurt. "Oh your in a loving, Christian home, why do you hurt?" My hurt is me fighting myself. Fight myself consist of fight myself to be strong. Not to fall into Satans traps, which I normally do. Fighting God is a major battle I have. Running away from Him, rather than turning from Him. I never really knew the love my church had for me until this past weekend. I also found that it was really hard for me to say, "I am loved and I love myself." Runks [www.myspace.com/runksrunk les], our dnow pastor spoke about alot of things that hit home and made me want to run. I really am continually reminded that I am where I am suppose to be for a reason and that is really hard to accept.

I will edit this later. I am out